Tag Archives: she’s moving out

Getting used to it

Well, DD is finally well and truly ensconced in her new home. All the possessions that she holds dear have made the move, except for her big white bookcase full of books. She only took one box of books, as she only has one tiny bookcase in her new bedroom, so she really had to cull the herd. But there isn’t too much of her left at home – my home – now.

She cried a little when I left her there the first night. She wears her emotions on her sleeve at the best of times, and I guess when it really hit her that I was going home alone and that she was already home, the tears overwhelmed her. I hugged her hard, told her to have a good, solid cry after I left, to expect a few more times like that before she felt fabulous again, then quickly went out the door.

Did I cry? No, I didn’t. I do think about her and miss her almost constantly, of course, but I’ve not had myself a good, solid cry. Yet. Maybe I will. She’s only been gone four days. There’s still time for crying.

But what I didn’t count on was how empty her bedroom, office, and bathroom are. I mean, yes, I know she took all her stuff from those rooms, so all that was left was the furniture: bed, night table, armoire, desk, bookcase. But it’s just furniture. There’s no DD there any more. Even her bathroom is devoid of any part of her. Only that big white bookcase has her personality stamped all over it – but it’s not terribly visible from the door, you have to go right into her office and turn to the left to actually see all the books within.

Being by myself isn’t really bothering me, I don’t think. The weirder thing for me is that there are so few traces of DD left here now. Yet, what did I expect? She moved out, she took her stuff. Hell, I’m lucky she didn’t have to take her bedroom and office furniture too (that’ll be the next time she moves, I’m sure)! And she’s leaving her car in my garage too, because she says she can walk everywhere she needs to go in her new neighbourhood. She also gets a free student bus pass through her university, so she’s planning to use public transit to get to and from school, as well as to go any farther afield. Besides, her car has always lived in a garage, so she’s quite reluctant to now park it on the street – the street which has very limited parking available at the best of times.

Anyway, I’m coping okay. I’m keeping busy … apparently by cleaning! I’ve fished out the eleventy-million empty shoeboxes DD kept under her bed, I’ve reorganized two closets, I’ve thrown out a bunch of crap (really, DD? Broken glass from a forgotten art project in Grade 12 – TEN YEARS AGO???), I’ve packed treasured keepsakes properly into plastic bins, I’ve pretty much filled my recycling bin.

And I’m heading over to DD’s place for the second time this week with yet another box of things that she forgot to bring before and are now desperately required – including an umbrella, her old high school combination lock, and two of her favourite pairs of shoes.

Sigh … it looks like DD and I will still be seeing quite a lot of each other in the foreseeable future.

Let’s get the show on the road

imagesThis must be the longest move in the history of humans on this planet! DD is still not fully moved into her new place, and she has been paying for it since August 1st.

Okay, she was staying at a vacationing friend’s place to look after their dog for most of that first week of August. Okay, there was a lot of cleaning to be done in her newly-rented basement suite. Okay, the place is furnished, but still needed things like a coat rack, curtains on a couple of windows, and some better lightbulbs. Okay, she wanted to personalize it a bit more so she bought a bunch of things like area rugs and chair cushions and a new tablecloth. Okay, I wanted her to have her own new towels and bed linens.

Okay, but that’s all done now. All DD needs to do at this point is move in her clothes and personal stuff, and that is the part that is taking what seems like forever!

I guess I understand why she doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry to complete the move. There’s a whole lot of newness coming her way very soon: living in her own space for the first time, getting to know a brand new neighbourhood, starting law school in two weeks. She’s somewhat of a procrastinator, but also an anxious sort, so I know she legitimately needs time to process all of this before it feels okay to her to move forward and embrace it all.

And I must admit that although I’m rather looking forward to living alone for the first time in a very long time, like any parent, I am a bit reluctant to see her go. It can be a fraught time for a parent, this offspring leaving the nest thing, but I’ve had SUCH a long lead-up to it that I’d like it DONE already! I want to get through my own adjustment period, which may or may not have its difficult (and teary) moments, and move on. I sense that I’m just a little more ready for this than DD is – but then, she is facing the bigger changes in her life, by far, so that makes perfect sense to me.

Still, come on, DD, let’s finish this. It’s supposed to be a moving DAY, not a moving MONTH. And I promise, you’ll end up quite happy once you’re totally in your apartment with all your own stuff, really!

Besides, I’m getting a little tired of doing the 45-minute drive with you there and back every day, to drop off just a few more items each time. I’ve got some serious Candy Crush to play, you know!

A clean break

DD and I are bloody exhausted. We should be: we have been cleaning her new basement suite from top to bottom for the past three days. And there is still some more to do.

The problem may be that the previous tenant did not clean. Or perhaps the tenant before him did not clean, as we were told that he hadn’t actually lived there very long before moving on. Or else the landlady’s cleanliness standards are not terribly high, so she always thinks that the suite is just fine as is and hasn’t ever required any previous tenant to clean properly before leaving. Or maybe, since the suite is in a basement of a house that was constructed in the 1940s or even before that, the nature of such a basement is that it just is somewhat dirty. Or quite possibly, DD and I have incredibly high expectations in terms of cleanliness so absolutely nothing would suffice in our lofty opinions.

All of the above are likely scenarios.

When we first came to look at the place, it was extremely cluttered with the current tennant’s clothing and possessions. Even the landlady seemed to be rather astonished that it was so messy. It was hard to tell what shape the actual apartment was in, with all that stuff everywhere. And it was rather dark, even considering that it’s a basement (honestly, you really can use higher than 15 watt lightbulbs in most light fixtures!). Still, DD loved the location, it’s a good size for one person, and there’s an actual (if minuscule) kitchen, complete with a full-sized dishwasher, instead of the tiny bar fridge and hotplate that are often found in basement suites. The price wasn’t too bad, considering that it’s fully furnished and equipped, so she pulled out her chequebook and handed the landlady a deposit for half a month’s rent.

And since she took possession on the first of the month, we have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more. We had to move a lot of furniture and vacuum up what looked like years of dirt. We thoroughly cleaned the fridge, washed every single dish and utensil in the kitchen, and scrubbed every cabinet inside and out with disinfectant. We did the same in the bathroom. We wiped down or dusted every surface we could everywhere in the place. We disinfected all doorknobs and light switches. We washed windows, for heaven’s sake!

The floor in the suite is that old-fashioned, uneven cement that is typical in older homes. Fortunately, the basement is of normal height; many houses of that vintage have only six-foot basement ceilings, rather than the eight-foot that we are now used to, but this one does not. (If it had I doubt DD would have taken the suite. I know I would have tried to talk her out of it!) This cement floor is mostly covered by various types of carpets, often three or four layers, for some reason. It looks tacky, and DD has decided that she cannot live with it like that, so we are pulling them all up, vacuuming underneath and in all corners, and rearranging them (the ones in good condition, at least) so it looks better. I even bought a sizeable black area rug for DD’s bedroom, to replace the three different area rugs currently in there.

This is all a very big job. And it also goes to show that the landlady really hasn’t paid much attention to that suite in years. Oh, she’s very nice and has immediately sorted anything that DD has mentioned to her (like the broken lampshade, the other lamp that doesn’t work at all, the door that is very persnickety to lock …), but it would have been much better if she actually kept on top of things the whole time she’s rented that suite out. We have already thrown out two garbage bags of broken things and stuff like old tape or expired foods, and we know that it doesn’t matter because she honestly has no idea what is actually in that suite. All I know is that I want DD to start out with a nice clean, functional place. What she does with it after that is totally up to her – but I doubt she would ever let it get to the state it was in when she took possession of it. I’ve trained her far too well!

Another thing that DD has spoken to the landlady about is the hide-a-bed couch. It is a behemoth, probably thirty years old, and it is not in good shape. It is stained and smelly and not very comfortable any more. DD showed the stains to her, and said that first of all, it was far too big for the space, second of all, it was well past its prime, and third of all, if she could get it out of there, DD would be willing to purchase her own smaller couch that she would take with her when she left. The landlady seemed to take all that quite seriously, and said she’d see what she could do. We’re not sure what that means yet, but time will tell.

Another day or so, and I think we’ll have the place ready for DD to move her clothing and personal stuff in there.

And then she’ll be gone and I’ll be an empty nester … an empty nester with a new aversion to cleaning, no doubt.