Tag Archives: rain

Outdoor shower

I was woken up from a very sound sleep at 3:30 this morning. It was the rain that woke me. It was VERY heavy, pounding on the window and on the cement patio and wooden deck beneath my second-storey bedroom window.

My first thought was, I should probably shut my bedroom window so the rain doesn’t come in.

My second was, Shit! My flower box!

This second, more upsetting thought was because of the water that simply pours over the edge of my neighbour’s roof and down into one of my flower boxes alongside the cement patio in my back yard, flooding out the plants and dirt and splashing mud everywhere. And THIS is because their gutter is most probably chock-full of gunk so the rainwater that rolls down their roof cannot actually drain into the gutter and then down the drainpipe where it is supposed to go. And THIS is something that has been going on for all the years that I have lived here (which will be eleven next month) something about which I have sent many, many emails to my strata council, requesting-begging-PLEADING with them to arrange for this to be fixed. Why can’t they get it fixed? Well, because the plugged gutter is up on the third storey of my neighbour’s home, and no one here has a ladder long enough to reach that third storey roof, so a roofer must be contacted. And that, my friends, costs money. Money that I pay every month in the form of strata fees, money that is meant to be used for upkeep and repair of the outside of my home and the shared common space around it. Money that apparently is NOT earmarked for the cleaning out of third storey gutters.

weather-idiom-figure_of_speech-rainstorm-rain_storm-rain-haan192lAnd THIS explains why I was outside at 3:30 this morning, in the pouring rain, in my jammies and flip flops, getting cold and soaked to the skin. I was hurriedly positioning some handy boards that I keep outside to deflect that waterfall and so protect my flower box.

Can anyone tell me why all the issues that I have had recently with my home have to do with water?!?

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Booting up

I bought these great boots two weeks ago. 1961960-p-MULTIVIEWWell, not exactly these boots here, but pretty close. I could have taken a photo of my actual boots, but I was lazy. So you have to make do with a photo that I didn’t take of boots that I don’t actually have.

Just keep in mind that these are pretty close.

Anyway, I detest buying boots because, like practically all the women I know, I have “large” calves. These would be calves that don’t fit into “regular” boots. I often wonder who does fit into “regular” boots. Stick women? Female giraffes? All I know is that the vast majority of the women I know have trouble stuffing their calves into most knee-high boots.

But I found these, and they are expandable, with buckles on the side so you can adjust them perfectly around whatever size calves you have. For the first time since I wore cowboy boots in the late 1970s, I can actually comfortably stick my pants inside my boots! It is a glorious thing. Those of you who have always been able to do this (all four of you) have no idea what a wondrous event this is.

So I have been wearing these boots almost every single day since I purchased them. I alternate them with a pair of ankle boots, which is what I have been wearing for years now, since I didn’t have to worry about my “large” calves not fitting with such short boots. Of course, that’s a whole different look, ankle boots, but now I have knee-high boots as well. The fashion possibilities are now endless!

Yesterday the rain was just teeming down (news flash: it rains in Vancouver). I was on supervision outside before school started. I was well-equipped with my down jackets, my gloves, my umbrella, and my tall boots. I was invincible!

As I patrolled my area, I noticed that water was pooling around this one corner of the school parking lot. It was having some trouble draining into the storm sewer system, because a whole whack of leaves were blocking its access. Being the caring person that I am, I decided to kick those leaves out of the way so that the water could make its merry way out of the parking lot and down into the storm sewer. There were a lot of leaves to move. As I kicked and pushed and manoeuvred the leaves away from the grate, it occurred to me that maybe my boots weren’t waterproof and that maybe I shouldn’t be standing in 5 centimetres of water.

No shit, Sherlock. When you neglect to spray your new boots with protectant and especially when you stand in water that is higher than the bottom of the side zipper of said boots, they’re not very waterproof at all. No, they are certainly not.

And that is why my feet were already soaking wet on Thursday morning at only 8:15 in the morning.

Monkey see, monkey do

It was pouring rain a couple of weeks ago. I know, I know, quelle surprise in the Vancouver area.

I was sitting at my kitchen desk, doing something incredibly important on my laptop. I think I may have been playing Angry Birds. Or maybe Bejewelled. It doesn’t matter (and I obviously don’t remember), but the point is that my kitchen desk is beside the patio door to my tiny back yard.

Now, as I mentioned, it was raining very hard at the time. I could hear rain just cascading down and crashing on the patio – and I realized that I shouldn’t actually be hearing that. I should have been hearing the rain on the roof perhaps, or hitting the patio, but I shouldn’t have been hearing what sounded like a small waterfall.

Oh crap, not again, I thought. Obviously, the gutter above the patio door was plugged again so the rainwater couldn’t flow down the drainpipe again and was just pouring over the side of the gutter and hitting the patio below again with great noise and velocity. This has happened before, more than once. I don’t know why the stupid gutter keeps plugging up right there, but it does plug up fairly regularly and then I get that charming Niagara Falls effect, right in my backyard. I should put up some coloured spotlights and charge admission already.

Well, I couldn’t do anything about it right then, but as soon as the rain stopped, I resolved to get my stepladder and climb up there and see what was going on with that gutter.

The rain petered out later that afternoon, so I did exactly that. Of course, I’m very nervous of heights anyway, and of course the ladder wasn’t quite long enough for me to actually see right into the gutter, so of course the operation wasn’t destined to go as smoothly as I had hoped. Still, I did my best.

I reached up into the gutter and felt around. Yep, all clogged up with what felt like mud. I certainly hoped it was just mud! I didn’t really know what to do then. Apparently I hadn’t thought this through carefully. I decided to scoop out some mud with my bare hand. I stood there at the top of the stepladder, my hand dripping with gooey mud mixed with some twigs and leaves. This was certainly going to make a mess if I just dropped it down to the patio – maybe I could just toss it into the flowerbox at the edge of the patio? Surely that was what people did when standing at the top of a ladder with a handful of mud?

So I did. Only I missed. My handful of mud, twigs and leaves hit the fence. And here I’d been concerned about making a mess. Oh well. I’d have to hose that off later. But right now, I was pretty sure that there was more goo that I could scoop out of the gutter.

So I scooped again. As soon as I did this the second time, water began rushing down the drainpipe, its access no longer blocked. Yay! No more Niagara Falls! And surely this time I could properly toss my handful of mud into the flowerbox, couldn’t I?

Nope. I couldn’t. Not even close. Now there were two big blobs of drippy, muddy mess on the fence.

And that’s when I thought about monkeys throwing their own poo and, shall we say, the similarities with my current situation. And that’s when I almost fell off the ladder, I was laughing so hard.