Feeling waspy

DD and were in Vegas last week. It was hot, as you would expect of a desert city in August, but hey, that’s why air conditioning was invented. Air conditioning in casinos, to be more precise. Air conditioning in casinos where they give you adult beverages for practically free.

We had a good time, with lots of solid mother-daughter bonding. We had such a good time that I came home with 5$ US, and DD had 11$ US. (Obviously, there were no big wins on the slot machines – but I did get a great deal on some clothes!)

So we came back in the early evening, and although the original plan was for me to drive her back to her apartment right away, we realized that we hadn’t accounted for laundry … as in, she decided that she wanted to go home with all clean stuff in her suitcase, so she proceeded to do her laundry at my house. And she’s fussy about her clothing and prefers a lot of it to be airdried rather than thrown in the dryer. So the plan was modified so that her laundry could dry overnight, and I could take her home the next day.

It was rather warm in the Vancouver area while we were gone, and so my flower pots and baskets were rather parched for a drink of water that evening, too. I had watered quite thoroughly before we left, but four hot days without water doesn’t seem to be all that good for plants. Some were looking downright awful, so while DD was sorting her laundry, I proceeded to start my watering.

Now, on my balcony, I have two hanging baskets. I also have a wasp nest hidden up in the soffits between those baskets. Wasps fly in and out all day, but honestly, they haven’t bothered me all summer. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time on that balcony and although the occasional wasp has flown near me to check out what I’m eating or drinking, they have generally left me alone. I’ve been able to water the baskets, pick off the dead flower blossoms, trim any leggy stems all without a single problem with the wasps. We’ve co-existed quite nicely all summer, and I know that they won’t come back to this nest once they’ve died or hibernated or whatever it is that wasps do when the summer is over, so their presence truly hasn’t been an issue.

images-1However, I now think that wasps have a very faulty memory. I now think that the jerks completely forgot me in the four days that I was gone. One day gone, sure, I think they recall my existence when I come back. But four? Nope. The wasp brain doesn’t seem to be able to remember ANYTHING that long.

How else to explain the fact that there I was that evening, minding my own business and watering my hanging baskets AS I HAVE BEEN DOING ALL SUMMER LONG when I very suddenly felt a hellishly sharp and stingy sensation on my back. And then ANOTHER one! I got stung TWICE by some stupid wasp who obviously forgot that I live there too and that I’m out on that balcony every day and that we have a DEAL whereby I don’t annoy them and they don’t annoy me! What the hell, wasp?! I wasn’t bugging you, why did you attack me?!

Asshole wasp!

Hurt like hell, too. I’ve never been stung before, and I can’t say I recommend it as an experience. I mean, I’ve given birth! I’ve had migraine headaches! I’ve broken my foot in two places! But this pain was probably worse than all three of those. The sharp stabbiness of it did dissipate quicker than those other pains, of course, but I had two swollen red patches on my back that throbbed and itched for a couple of days, even after the swelling went down. And I’m not allergic to any kind of sting, so I can only imagine how horrible and scary and painful it must be for people who are.

So, yeah, I’m not feeling quite so benevolent towards those wasps right now.

And my hanging baskets are looking drier with each passing day, because I’m not going anywhere NEAR them till the dumb wasps are gone!
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7 responses to “Feeling waspy

  1. PS Really happy about your huuuuuuuge Vegas win. What are you gonna spend it on?

  2. You hit the nail on the head re wasps — they are assholes. We haven’t had many around this year, fortunately. But stings are brutal and I have had a few in ny time.

  3. Onion juice. When you get stung cut an onion and rub the juice on the sting. It actually works. I was stung for the first time last week. We were getting the cottage painted and the painters found two wasp nests. Spraying a wasp nest that is well tucked away and pretty much inaccessible and HUGE on a 10 foot ladder? Not fun.

    • Onion juice? I didn’t know that, but even if I did, I’m not sure I would have remembered. All I could think about at the time was “This fucking HURTS!”
      And quelle coïncidence – my building is going to be painted within the next few weeks too! I guess the painters will very likely get stung (unless the wasps leave by then), because I doubt they’re being paid for wasp nest search and destroy missions as well as for painting.

  4. Ugh, I hate wasps! We went out the other week and one landed on my face! My actual face! It didn’t sting me but I was still far from okay with the situation.

    • Uggghhhh! That is TERRIBLE! I don’t think I would even SURVIVE a wasp just landing on my face! (Mind you, I am the woman who had a baby bird fly into her mouth once upon a time, and I’m still here …)