A wedding wardrobe malfunction

We went to a wedding on the weekend. Two friends of DD’s were getting married, she for the first time, he for the not-first time. I was quite touched to even be invited, since I don’t really know the couple very well, though at least I have met them: PG had never even set eyes on the bride before.

It was an outdoor wedding in the afternoon, and it rained all morning. There was no backup plan. If it rained, we would all simply have to huddle under umbrellas, the bride and groom included. However, the weather gods smiled upon them (and us!) and we had sun by the time of the ceremony.

The wardrobe gods – well, they were conspicuously absent that day.

As I said, both the bride and groom are good friends of DD’s. The wedding venue was near our house, so the bride asked if she could get dressed at our house. Of course I was happy to agree to that, though I thought it was a little odd – don’t brides normally get dressed at their parents’ home – or at least, with their mothers? Well, this bride apparently wasn’t going to do that. She and her groom, along with the groom’s kids from his previous marriage all arrived at our house, about an hour before the wedding was set to begin.

She and DD disappeared upstairs so she could get dressed. The groom and his kids and I chatted for a while, till he seemed to sense that things weren’t going as planned. He called upstairs, “How’s it going? Everything okay?”

“We have a situation here!” was the return call. He hurried upstairs.

The kids and I kept talking about school and siblings and computers and whatever else kids will talk about with adults. They were lovely kids, very personable and not at all shy. I quite enjoyed myself, to be honest.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, everyone came downstairs. The bride was finally dressed, in a knee-length lacy white dress, a lacy black cardigan, and white flats. She looked happy and relaxed. They headed off to the wedding venue. DD and I were waiting for PG to arrive, then we’d make our way their, too.

“Oh mom,” DD sighed after they’d gone. “That dress …”

I knew there was a story, so I let her tell me.

images-1Apparently, the bride had purchased her dress on-line. DD wasn’t sure when the dress actually arrived, but when it did, the bride realized that it was too small. Instead of exchanging it for a larger size (or maybe she couldn’t do that, because there was no time?), she attempted to sew fabric to the back, on each side of the open zipper (which went down below the waist), along with ties to lace it together. And then it appeared that she didn’t ever try it on again, because when she went to put the dress on a scant hour before her wedding, it still wouldn’t fit. According to DD, there was still a huge open gap across the back, and no way the flimsy ties would ever cinch the sides together as she had planned. She couldn’t even pull the sleeves up to her shoulders! This dress sounds like it was VERY MUCH too small.

No one knew what to do. The dress simply didn’t fit. But DD saved the day by lending the bride her lacy black cardigan to wear over top the dress. No one could see the open gap across her back, nor could they see that the sleeves wouldn’t go up over her shoulders. It just looked like a white dress with a black cardigan. It actually looked okay: like a real wedding outfit, one that was actually planned. And none of this disturbed the bride, DD reported.

This is a totally new idea to me: a bride who cared so very little about her wedding dress that she actually wore one that didn’t fit and needed to be partly covered up. I just can’t get my mind around that! I realize that brides and grooms and wedding come in all varieties, even very casual and laid-back, but this was really something weird to me. I have never heard of any woman, even one who just went down to city hall to get married, who didn’t want to look great on her wedding day. What bride doesn’t try her dress on a million times prior to her wedding? I do wonder what was going through this particular bride’s head – anything?!?

However, if you didn’t know the backstory, you would never know that this bride’s dress was so ill-fitting. It didn’t look like she was terribly uncomfortable, either, so I guess it all worked out. I wonder how the wedding photos will turn out, though.

And I wonder if DD will ever get her black lacy cardigan back when the happy couple returns from their honeymoon?


10 responses to “A wedding wardrobe malfunction

  1. That is very odd, but also kind of funny. I just hope she didn’t forget half way through the wedding and take off the cardigan…

  2. The wedding dress saga is hilarious. What is wrong with some people? I agree with your comment about her ‘taste’. The whole scenario as you present it is very funny and ghastly at the same time.

  3. At first, I thought “what an amazingly laid back attitude” and liked her immediately. Now, after some reflection, such a casual attitude would drive me crazy – doesn’t she care??
    I would like to see her on an episode of “say yes to the dress, just for something completely different!
    (I also love the image you chose)

    • I might be thinking “What not to wear” would be a better choice, if that wedding dress is a example of her taste – but that would be catty, so I might not be thinking that! 😉

  4. I wonder if DD didn’t have a dress that would have worked equally well if the bride worried so little about how she looked. Not that I question DD’s taste, au contraire, I bet she has very good taste. I just think anything would have been better than an ill fitting dress. She did have her groom to consider.

    • That’s a good point, about the groom. Did she consider that it was his wedding day too, that he might want her to look as put-together as he did? And unfortunately, DD is smaller than her friend, so any of her dresses would have likely fit the same way the wedding dress did! Good idea, though!

  5. Love it! The woman rolls with the punches, and it’ll make a great wedding story.

    • True, she is fairly unflappable – but this was so preventable! All she had to do was a) buy a dress in her size, and failing that, b) exchange it for the correct size, c) have it professionally and properly altered, or d) buy a new damn dress. At the very least, I don’t know why she didn’t try it on after she’d added the fabric at the back. Didn’t she want to know if that would actually work?