Service, please

My car told me that she wanted some servicing a number of weeks ago. As I’ve mentioned here before, she won’t tell me what she actually needs, only that she needs something, so she needs to see the BMW people as soon as possible. She likes the BMW people. They speak her language. They always know what she wants … and I don’t.

It’s sometimes hard to get a timely appointment to take a car in for servicing at my dealer’s, so in order to get this dealt with as soon as possible, I ended up taking a day off work (shh! Don’t tell anyone, but it wasn’t me who was ill that day, it was my car!).

So I brought her in at the appointed time, and sat with my service advisor. He took my key fob and stuck it in his reader so that he could translate what my car was telling him.

“Oh,” he said, after an intense minute or two scrutinizing the computer screen.

“Oh?” I queried.

“Your car is programmed for an emissions check right now. All cars built for the North American market are programmed for that. However, we already have the Air Care program in Vancouver, so you already take your car in for regular emissions checks.”

“Oh?” I repeated.

“So your car doesn’t actually need that check – or anything else, it seems.”



The service advisor looked at me. “Can I offer you a car wash?” he finally ventured.

“You sure can. And a vacuum?” I shot back.

“You bet. Have a seat in the lounge. It’ll be about fifteen minutes.”

So basically, my car simply wanted to be clean, inside and out. She didn’t trust me to do this properly, I guess.

And I took the day off work for this.



12 responses to “Service, please

  1. hmmm, did they reprogramme the car so it doesn’t keep doing that, otherwise I’m thinking you’re going to be taking Schaeffer for another “spa” day đŸ™‚

    • Nicky – They did. Hopefully, the next time she claims that she needs servicing, it will be for something like an oil and filter change – and just as hopefully, I still won’t have to pay for it. I really should check my documentation and see when this free service stuff runs out …

  2. I bet if you have to pay for the servicing yourself, the kind BMW people will gladly throw in a washing and a vacuuming, don’t you think? You’ll have to use all you wily charms, of course, and bat your eyelashes a lot. BMW does have a reputation to keep up and it can’t sully its name. Especially not if you threaten to write about them in this blog.

    • Nora – I’ve had amazing service from BMW so far, but as you say, I’m not yet paying for anything myself. I do think that BMW does pride itself on its service (they should – those cars aren’t cheap!), so I will probably get that wash and vacuum every time I bring Schaeffer in. Also, my dealer has a beautiful lounge to wait in, complete with comfy couches, free wifi, and free snacks and cappuccinos/ lattes. It’s not exactly a crummy place to hang around – in fact, I could cheerfully spend all day there!

  3. Aw — your car needed a good scrub and told you. Somehow that’s kind of sweet. Did she say it in German? Maybe that’s why you don’t always understand her, depending on your acumen in Deutsche.

    • mrwriteon – I have a bit of German. I can say and understand things like “Is this seat free?” “Do you have a double room available?” “Beer, please.” “Mineral water, please.” and “Where is the toilet?” Oh – and “I’m the shopkeeper.” None of which helps when communicating with one’s BMW, to say the least.

  4. It’s programmed for an emissions check? And you have no way of knowing that? So you have to use a sick day? BMW should pay for an extra sick day for you. So. There.

    • Jazz – Well, I didn’t actually have to use a sick day, to be perfectly honest. I could have taken her in on a Saturday – in January, probably. But I’ve been teaching for so long that I have almost two years of sick days built up, and I will lose them all when I retire (which will likely be within ten years), so I try to use them here and there for medical appointments … and also my car’s medical appointments.

  5. Does this beemer have a name? Your graphic car is so cute!!

  6. Ha ha, that’s so funny. It seems that you get the service you didn’t even expect. How good can you get it? You are spoiled and so is your car. All things in life should go that smoothly. Next thing you know, you won’t have to pay for your groceries when you go shopping. “Oh no, Ma’am, you’ve already paid often enough.”

    • Nora – And you know that only happened at the car dealership because my car is still under warranty and all maintenance is currently being paid for by BMW! As soon as I have to start paying, I’ll bet that she’ll want some major service every week – and she’ll just have to get used to me washing and vacuuming her myself!