PG and I were out shoe shopping for him last month. He had decided he needed new running shoes, and I was just along for moral support.
So when we’re wandering around the shoe store, he gravitated to these ugly black or dark brown shoes. I’m not even sure if they were runners, but believe me, they were gross. He asked me my opinion. I told him that I thought they were the most unattractive shoes I had ever seen , and that I would not be seen with him if he bought them and dared to wear them outside the privacy of his own home. Or words to that effect.
PG sighed and said, in an exasperated voice, “Well, Ms Fashion, what do YOU think I should get?”
“I don’t know, they’re YOUR shoes. But lots of people who are looking for running shoes seem to get white ones, not pure black things that don’t even LOOK like runners,” I replied.
“Fine,” he muttered, and headed over to a display of white runners.
Now, when I envision white runners, I am not necessarily thinking of snow white runners. I am thinking of runners that are predominantly white, yes, but with perhaps some blue or grey or black or green or pink or whatever accents. You know, like most runners. Maybe something like these:
I guess my point is that they all LOOK like running shoes, regardless of the colours. I just happen to prefer mostly white running shoes, that’s all.
But PG then picked out a pair of blindingly white – I don’t know – golf shoe wannabes. Or maybe bowling shoe imitations. They did have a bit of black on the sides, but they sure didn’t look much like regular runners to me. He asked me what I thought. I told him. He got snarky and again challenged me to find him a pair of runners, because obviously when I said white, I didn’t mean white, so what the hell did I actually mean? I shot back that I actually meant that he should find RUNNERS, not old man bowling shoes. He repeated his request that I find him something else then. I said no and left the store.
He bought the white old man bowling shoes.
He’s worn them a few times since that day, and lovingly wipes them off when they get a dark smudge on them. I have tried to step on his feet many times, but he has successfully avoided me to date. (PG is very agile, it seems.) I have teased him mercilessly, and his rejoinder is always a snappy, “I want white shoes so I’m going to keep them white!”
But being a mere man, PG slipped up. Oh yes, he did. He left those spick-and-span white shoes at my house last Sunday, totally by mistake. (He did have another pair of runners on, in case you’re wondering.) I called him as soon as I noticed them, because I didn’t want the ugly things in my house any longer than necessary. Unfortunately, he’s been so busy between work and other commitments that they had to stay here all week until Saturday, when he and two other couples were coming over for a dinner party I was hosting.
PG had a golf tournament this afternoon, so he left right around noon. He forgot his stupid shoes AGAIN.
And now I’m wondering what else I can do to them.