Elitism?

It rained this weekend. Quelle surprise, as we say in French. This is the Victoria Day long weekend, traditionally the first long weekend of the summer. And it has rained – oh, did I mention that already?

I spent Saturday doing housewifely things like vacuuming and washing clothes and scrubbing toilets. DD came home from her boyfriend’s place and immediately noticed that I had cleaned her bathroom as well as the other two. She timidly asked me if I was being benevolent or passive aggressive. I assured her that it was the former.

Late Sunday morning, PG and I went to his sister’s for brunch. She had invited other friends too. Her two kids were sick. There was a hockey game on at the ungodly hour of noon (ungodly for hockey, okay?). I wasn’t in the mood for all this, as I am quite serious about my hockey viewing and prefer to do it alone, or perhaps with PG if he promises to not talk too much. However, there was plentiful champagne and orange juice, plus homemade bread for the French toast, so I somehow managed to deal with it all. But then all I wanted to do was sleep. Yes, I am a really fun person.

Today, Monday, it has cleared up and we have actually seen the sun. DD and I went for a lovely walk this afternoon – right after I spent a zillion dollars at the grocery store. How can two people (occasionally three or four) need that much food??? And why is that food so damn expensive??? But as I left the checkout with my measly five bags of groceries, an official-looking man stopped me, addressing me by name. I looked at him suspiciously. His nametag said that he was the store manager. Okay. He’s probably harmless, I decided. He informed me that I am one of his store’s best customers. Well, yes, I agreed, I have been shopping there for about ten years. He went on to thank me profusely for shopping so regularly at his store, and told me that I now qualified as one of the store’s “Elite Customers”. I stood up a little straighter. This was getting interesting!

He handed me a brochure which detailed how I would now benefit, seeing as I was now an “Elite Customer”. In it was a card with his name and mobile phone number. If ever I needed anything or had a question or even a complaint, I was now permitted to call Mr Manager directly, and he assured me that whatever I said would be taken extremely seriously. In addition, I was now qualified to get refunds at the store without having to produce a receipt. Um – okay. I don’t believe that I have ever asked for a refund from any grocery store, receipt or no receipt. Still, nice idea.

I am also now able to get cash back on my debit card up to 300$, with no additional fees. Oh? People actually do that? When there is a bank machine right at the door of the store? But I always pay cash for my groceries, never debit. But again, nice idea.

I am guaranteed that any item I want will be in stock, and if it is not, an equivalent item will be substituted at the same price. I’ve never found that to be a problem at this store, but if ever the generic kidney beans, for example, are out of stock, I will certainly now ask for the name brand at the price of the generic brand.

I am entitled to 10% off the price of deli sandwiches and a dozen long stem roses – two items that I have never purchased at this store. However, if I wish to start, it won’t cost me the full amount, because I am an “Elite Customer”!

The best part of the deal is the 5¢ off per litre of gas at the gas bar. Now that is definitely something I can use! But, where IS the damn gas bar? Not at this store, that’s for sure. Oh – it’s 20 kms away. Wait – there’s another location 12 kms away. Neither one is on my way to or from anywhere I normally go. Well. Isn’t that nice, a discount that I won’t use because I would use up the savings getting there and back.

So being an “Elite Customer” is apparently not all it’s cracked up to be. But it’s okay. I have the store manager’s personal mobile phone number. I can call him and complain.

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3 responses to “Elitism?

  1. I know what you mean about the cost of food. I only went to buy a couple of bits yesterday and ended up spending 28 euros! I didn’t even get half the stuff I usually do!

  2. Now that you’re elite, will you still consort with us, the unwashed masses?

    • Jazz – Of course I will, because I still remember where I came from. I will always remember my lowly origins and the people I knew there. We elite are often generous like that, you know. 😉