Feeding time

Sunday was a gloriously sunny day in these parts. It wasn’t even that cold out – just a great winter day, really. The kind that makes me happy to be alive.

On days like that, I like to go out for long walks. So PG and I headed to the beach to do just that. It was lovely there, though a little colder than at home, and I wished I would have brought my gloves. But I had on a sweater with too-long sleeves, so I was able to tuck my hands in quite nicely, and didn’t suffer too much.

After we came home, PG got to do what he really likes to do on sunny winter days: wash his car. I didn’t stay out there to watch. I went inside to make lunch. I had decided on grilled cheese sandwiches.

I was planning to cook them after PG finished his car, so I got two sandwiches ready for him and one for me. But then he came back into the house to change the wash-water and he yelled to DD to come downstairs and he’d help her wash her car.

Oh. Well. I guess I could wait till another car was done, I thought.

But then I couldn’t. I was starving, so I fried up my sandwich and ate it.

I went down to see how the car-washing was coming. DD was just drying her car off – and PG was about ready to change the wash-water again and wash my car.

Oh. Well. I certainly wasn’t going to put a stop to that endeavour now, was I?

When my car was finished, I finally fried up PG’s sandwiches and he ate them in about two seconds. I suppose he was really hungry by then, having waited until three cars had been washed. Together we cleaned up the hose and buckets and towels and washing mitt, then settled down to watch a little hockey on TV.

We hadn’t been watching for even twenty minutes, when he turned to me and said, “Could I have a peanut butter and jam sandwich?”

“What?! You just wolfed down two sandwiches!” I retorted.

“So? I’m still hungry.”

“What?! How can you still be hungry so soon after you just ate two sandwiches?” I said incredulously.

He shrugged. “I’m still hungry, that’s all. I’m pretty active, you know.”

“Yeah, but three sandwiches in twenty minutes?? How much DO you actually eat? That’s just stupid!” I yelled.

He was laughing at me now. “I do eat a lot. I come home from work, have a sandwich and maybe some soup for a snack, then I’ll have dinner, then dessert, then maybe a snack before bed … I told you my grocery bill was about 200$ a month.”

“That’s just stupid! How can you eat so much? Don’t you ever get full? I haven’t gone grocery shopping myself this week, so I don’t have tonnes of food kicking around for all your snacks!” Still, I stomped upstairs and made him yet another sandwich. (And a rum and coke for myself.)

Then, after he ate that sandwich, he asked for some fruit and yogourt. The man is apparently a bottomless pit of perpetual hunger – yet he doesn’t have even the tiniest bit of fat on him. He literally eats every two hours, and gets quite cranky if he must go longer than that. He might be hypoglycemic or else just a big eater blessed with a fast metabolism.

This is quite possibly why we don’t live together. I simply don’t have a pantry and fridge big enough to hold all the food PG requires every day.

Also, I am jealous that he can eat such copious amounts of food and never gain weight.

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4 responses to “Feeding time

  1. I hate people like that — nothing against PG personally — who can eat vast volumes and pay no penalties. I think everybody should pay penalties for their sins. That’s what retribution is all about. Why just some of us?

    • mrwriteon – PG also eats quite healthily, to make matters worse. If he eats junk food, he can eat just a bit – three or four potato chips, for example – then put the bag away for a few days. But if I open up a bag of potato chips, I end up mechanically eating every single chip in the bag. Then I feel gross and bloated, which is not my favourite feeling, and he can’t even share in my misery!

  2. In what universe is it fair that anyone but a 15 year old boy can eat that much and gain no weight.

    It’s WRONG is what it is!