Password, please

Okay, I have GOT to change some things in my life. I have HAD it! I am DONE! I cannot go on like this!

One of my New Year’s resolutions absolutely has to be – oh, wait. I don’t ever make New Year’s resolutions. Something about the crippling guilt and self-flagellation when I don’t follow through, I think.

Let me start that sentence again.

IF I actually made New Year’s resolutions, one of them would absolutely HAVE to be – that’s better, though not as emphatic. It’ll have to do, though.

Yes. So, that resolution?

I really, really MUST consolidate all my passwords. I have about eleventy-six, and I can no longer remember which password goes with which online account/ email address/ secure website/ etc. I am sick and tired of being locked out of various online accounts/ email addresses/ secure websites/ etc. just because when I try to login to one of them, I punch in the wrong password. Three times. Three strikes and you’re out. Bingo. Locked out again. All because I think, every single time, that of course I remember which password I need to use so I don’t need to hit that famous “Can’t remember your password?” button. And almost every single time, I don’t remember.

How did this happen? Likely because I think I am smarter than I actually am. Whenever I have opened a brand new online account/ email address / secure website/ etc. in the past, I have tried to create a simple memorable password, just for that particular place. Which would be fine if I only WENT to one particular place. Which I don’t. So, more and more passwords came into existence, each one just slightly different that the previous one. Then some sites started requesting passwords that contained a certain number of characters, one of which had to be a symbol like % or £, and my previous passwords wouldn’t fit at all within those parameters. So some very different passwords had to be composed.

Also, one of my secure websites only allows me to keep a particular password for three months, then I must change it. Every. Three. Months. And I cannot repeat passwords that I previously used – or maybe I can, after a year. Or five. That one is a very large pain in the butt, let me tell you. Unfortunately, it’s a site that I must use a lot for work, so I really have no option other than to comply.

Then there are the user names. I have a whole bunch of those, too. But I seem to be able to keep those fairly straight. Probably because they are considered less important in computer-land than the passwords. I’ve never been locked out of somewhere because I tried three different user names. I get to try, try again, more than three times.

But it doesn’t matter if I get the correct user name, because I can’t seem to remember the effing password anyway!

That is my non-resolution for New Year’s, then. I will give it a mighty try, my best effort.

But if you don’t hear from me for a while, it’ll likely be because I’ve been locked out of WordPress because I’ve forgotten my newly-created password.

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10 responses to “Password, please

  1. I think I’m safe – you’ll probably trip over those pink pom pom booty feet.

  2. my computer is inside a cabinet where the inside of the door is plastered with post it notes with various passwords, no-one will ever find it. will they?

  3. I took care of the problem by having only one password (a random series of numbers) for all the websites that aren’t crucial (which is most of them).

    The others (the important ones, obviously) I promptly forget.

    • Jazz – I’m not at all a math person, so I’m quite sure that I’d forget number passwords even faster than I forget the word ones. There have been moments where I have completely blanked out on my own phone number …

  4. I’ve got them all written down for some interloper to find and do evil deeds with. But I’ll forget them otherwise. Happy New year!

    • Nora – I suppose writing them down is the next best option. And really, who would want to get into, say, my gas company account? My bank account, maybe (although that wouldn’t always be fruitful!), but that’s a password that I have never screwed up so far, so that might not need to be written down. Happy New Year to you, too!

  5. You and me both. However, I resolve to not do anything about it. That’s because I have them filed away somewhere in which they are entirely not up-to-date. And I invariably forget the title of the item in which I filed them. Happy New Year to you, my dear sister. Hope it is a wonderful one, resolutions or not.

    • mrwriteon – It must be genetic then, this forgetfulness. Happy New Year to you, as well. Here’s wishing you and Wendy health and happiness – and let’s throw in a little prosperity, too!