The no-tech man

PG informed me a week or so ago that he thought he might like an iPod for Christmas.

I just about fell over, I was so astonished!

Okay, I was a little late getting to the MP3 party myself (like only two or three years ago, I think), but once I arrived, I embraced it fully and now own two iPods, an iPod dock, and have a built-in system in my car so that I can completely control the iPod through my car stereo buttons. I download free music with the best of them (this is legal in Canada, although not in a few other jurisdictions, I understand). I have packed away my CD player and CDs, to be brought out at my next eighties party, if I ever have one. I am digital, people!

But PG? Not so much.

This is a man who still uses his humongous speakers (and I do mean humongous. These suckers are the size of end tables. Remember when that’s what you had to buy to get good sound? Or maybe you don’t …) with his turntable and receiver from the eighties. Now, I know that it’s cool and retro to listen to records nowadays, but certainly not when said records and sound system are twenty-five-year-old originals and don’t actually work very well, if at all.

This is also a man who purchased a car stereo a few years ago, and when his significant other (hello!) suggested that he choose one with MP3 capabilities, dismissed such an idea as ridiculous. I have CDs, he proclaimed proudly. I do not have an iPod. I will use what I, in fact, own.

And again, this is a man who bought his first computer less than a year ago, from his significant other’s daughter, who was upgrading from an iBook G4 to a MacBook Pro. So he’s got the laptop, but no wireless router, so he can only use it at the table close to the cable outlet to which it is permanently tethered. He also has no printer, so if he is researching, say, something for his Porsche, he still must put pen to paper to record the information. How archaic! He has an email account, set up by his young niece, but he isn’t too sure how it all works, and has only ever sent about three emails in his life. He says he’d rather use the phone.

And the only reason he even has a mobile phone is that it was given to him ten years ago. (To give him credit, he has replaced that original mobile. Once.) He has no idea how to text, and when he has received texts, he doesn’t know how to access them anyway. Voice mail? Nope, he doesn’t have that either.

He still goes to the bank and stands in line for a teller in order to pay his bills. He has no interest in setting up billing online, or access to his bank accounts online. His significant other has offered to walk him through this, saying how much easier it is to function online, that it is possible to do your banking at 3 in the morning, in your jammies, if you so desire. He has declined this kind offer, saying that he would prefer to keep people working by using their services in person.

And this is the man who now thinks he might like an iPod for Christmas???

Too bad I already bought him something else.


11 responses to “The no-tech man

  1. Muuuaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!!!! The punchline to your post is pure evil.

    Good evil, if you know what I mean.

    As for PG – well, he drives a Porsche doesn’t he? Doubtless it has all kinds of non-Luddite, fancy techy stuff in it (sequential shift? traction control? power everything?). Unless it’s an older (shall we say “classic”?) one, which would explain the lack of iPod-friendly stereo.

    EDIT – and now I read the comments above. Doh. 🙂

    • Ricardipus – PG’s Porsche is a 1995 944S2, so while it is certainly fast and handles like a dream, it does lack most of the technology that we take for granted now. But to be fair, he’s in the process of making the car more of a track vehicle (racing suspension, etc), so he doesn’t really even WANT all that other stuff. And when he does want to experience fun things like traction control, I let him drive my BMW, which pretty much has all the bells and whistles.

  2. I’ve never heard of ‘new’ walkmans. She did turn the tape over, so I would assume it was an old one. Remember how tiring that was – opening up the “device” and physically taking out the tape and re-inserting it the correct way up to hear the other side. Shudder.

  3. PG is a man after my own heart. I was thinking a while ago I might like an i-pad because it would be good for traveling. Otherwise, my cellphone sits in my glove compartment, virtually unused and leaving me with a huge resentment over paying the monthly charge. I play CDs and really don’t know what an MP3 player is and don’t particularly want to know. I mean, I have a wonderful collection of vinyl and cassette tapes that I still haul out. I do have an up-to-date laptop, printer, scanner, etc. because I need them for my work. But otherwise I’m just not there. Maybe it’s a guy thing?

    • mrwriteon – Yeah, but aren’t you guys supposed to love technology? PG loves pretty much anything to do with cars, and modern cars are pretty technologically advanced, so I just don’t understand his lack of interest in any other digital gadgets. Oh wait – asked and answered: MODERN cars are not what PG is into. He prefers somewhat older models, the ones he can tinker with and fix himself without having to deal with those new-fangled computer thingies. So I suppose that could explain it: he’s just living in the past!

  4. A few weeks back, I saw someone wearing a Walkman. It was so strange looking I did a double take.

    • VioletSky – I wonder if it was a vintage Walkman or a new one – and if it was new, where on earth would one buy one these days? I also don’t think PG ever owned a Walkman back then, either. I’ll have to ask him.

  5. Well, kudos to him! I only fell into the iPod thing a couple of years ago too, now I want all sorts of cool digital stuff I had never even heard about three years ago.

    I blame my Nano.

    • Jazz – Were you actively resisting, though? PG always has, so this sudden desire for an iPod is a huge switch for him – and for me. Once he is actually in possession of an iPod, I’ll have to find new things to mock about him, won’t I?