The pinklea code

Recently, my attention was brought to this website that purports to analyze your writing and tell you which famous author your style resembles.

Cool, I thought. I’m an okay writer (in my own mind), so it would be quite fun and fascinating to compare myself to someone who actually makes money from their writing. Then, obviously, I would write a novel myself and make at least as much money as that already-published author. I would be even more rich and famous than whomever! THEY would be compared to ME! But of course, I’d never forget the people who knew me way back when, those who read my humble blog back when I was just starting out. I’d always give them credit for helping me along my way. Maybe I’d even write my novel about them. About them reading my blog, I mean. Oh, the possibilities are endless!

So went my fantasy (I have quite a vivid imagination. Evidently.).

I eagerly submitted a piece of my writing to the website. It specifies that a couple of paragraphs are better than a tweet. That’s good, I thought. I don’t have a Twitter account, so the only tweeting I do is when I mimicking a bird.

The result came back in a flash. I write like …

… Dan Brown.

Effing Dan Brown.

The man whose writing everybody loves to mock. The man who is responsible for “The Da Vinci Code” and “Angels and Demons” (I almost typed “Angles” there. Freudian slip anybody?) The man who, despite selling gazillions of copies of these far-fetched, formulaic novels, is one of the worst writers I have ever read – even amongst the elementary school set. The guy’s writing is really BAD! Just google something like “Why is Dan Brown’s writing so terrible” and you’ll have a plethora of hits on various sites where you can sample the awfulness yourself. I’m certainly not alone in my opinion.

And I apparently write like he does.

Oh, the shame! The shame and the horror! I may have to shut down my blog, because I’m not sure I could change my writing style. I think Dan Brown will have to change his.


11 responses to “The pinklea code

  1. I write, apparently, like Edgar Allan Poe. THE HORROR!

    • Dawn – At least he could write – and his stories can scare the crap out of his readers. Dan Brown scares the crap out of his readers with his lousy writing!

  2. I read a whole article about this site and the guy doesn’t have a super wide array of authors to compare to yet – just 50 with 3 books from each. It matches based on keywords, and number of words per sentence. Here’s the link to the article:

    And did you ever think, maybe Dan Brown is poorly copying your style? 🙂

    I got James Joyce twice in a row. And then I tried another chunk of text and got….Dan Brown. I’m just going to assume that was a fluke and I really write just like James Joyce.

    • Kimberly – Thanks for that link. It certainly puts the website into better perspective if even its creator says that it’s really just for fun (which I guess I knew, but c’mon – Dan Brown?!?).

  3. Mrs Jones – Okay. I can do that. It’s just that I have these nightmares sometimes …

    Jazz – Hemingway, huh? Got a thing for guns do ya? Drink a lot, maybe?

    mrwriteon – Nabokov was at least an intellectual – how come I couldn’t channel Nabokov?!? And of course we’ll be the best of friends when I make my first million, as long as you supply the vodka!

    cynthia – Ah, the voice of reason in my wilderness. So don’t take it seriously is what you’re advising? Yes, I think I shall follow that advice. (BTW, thanks for visiting! 🙂 )

    wenderina – Though I’ve not read any Chuck Palahniuk, “Fight Club” was a bit of a disturbing film, so yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

    XUP – Okay, I just redid it. This time I got Cory Doctorow. I don’t even know who that is!

  4. Ya, I got Dan Brown first too. Then I got David Foster Wallace. I suspect this analyzer isn’t all that analytical

  5. Ok – I got Chuck Palahniuk – and while I think he is a great writer…I’m a little frightened.

  6. oh, those online “games” only have a few possibilities… tons of people wind up with the same answer although they write very differently from each other! No worries; it’s meaningless.

  7. Well, I happened (ahem) to get Vladimir Nabokov (and no, I don’t have a thing for prepubescent girls). On the other hand, dear Pink, I know people who have done this three or four times and get a different writer every time. I agree with your comments about what a hack Dan Brown is, but when you’re writings earn as much as his do, can we become even closer friends?

  8. Oh Pink, I write like him too. Then I again submitted the same couple of paragraphs from my blog and it was John Grisham…

    In desperation I submitted the paragraphs again: Ernest Hemingway.

    That I can live with.

  9. Hmm, I’ve just tried it and it appears I also write like Dan Bleedin’ Brown.

    Let’s just ignore it, eh?