I was driving home from work one day this week. I forget exactly which day, but it was a nice, sunny day (they’re still few and far between, it seems, so I should remember, but sorry, I don’t). I had the iPod cranked and the sunroof open. I’d had a busy, but productive day at work with few disasters. I was in a good mood.
So there I was, cruising down the highway at – um, let’s just say, somewhat above the posted speed limit. Then, very suddenly …
Two HUGE blobs of birdshit hit my windshield on the passenger side. And I mean HUGE! Like from a pterodactyl or something. Like what on earth had that flying creature been eating?!
There was such a mess that although I tried to wash it off with the windshield washers and wipers, an ugly brownish smear remained. I ended up stopping at a service station to properly wash the windshield – and also the driver’s side window, where some of the liquidy yuckiness had been flung during my first cleaning attempt.
I calculated: based upon its trajectory, if the airborne being whose excrement attacked my windshield had been flying maybe two kilometres an hour faster, or if I had been driving maybe two kilometres an hour faster, that shit would definitely have gone right through my sunroof and into my car. And quite likely some would have hit me.
Dodged a bullet, I did.