I was driving home from work one day this week. I forget exactly which day, but it was a nice, sunny day (they’re still few and far between, it seems, so I should remember, but sorry, I don’t). I had the iPod cranked and the sunroof open. I’d had a busy, but productive day at work with few disasters. I was in a good mood.

So there I was, cruising down the highway at – um, let’s just say, somewhat above the posted speed limit. Then, very suddenly …


Two HUGE blobs of birdshit hit my windshield on the passenger side. And I mean HUGE! Like from a pterodactyl or something. Like what on earth had that flying creature been eating?!

There was such a mess that although I tried to wash it off with the windshield washers and wipers, an ugly brownish smear remained. I ended up stopping at a service station to properly wash the windshield – and also the driver’s side window, where some of the liquidy yuckiness had been flung during my first cleaning attempt.

I calculated: based upon its trajectory, if the airborne being whose excrement attacked my windshield had been flying maybe two kilometres an hour faster, or if I had been driving maybe two kilometres an hour faster, that shit would definitely have gone right through my sunroof and into my car. And quite likely some would have hit me.

Dodged a bullet, I did.


11 responses to “Dodgy

  1. Shit does happen, but happily you personally dodged the bullet. I suffer similar trepidation when I have my T-roof off.

    • XUP – Nah, DD will do all that local stuff. And I guess the crackdown is how our government is planning to build up its coffers to pay for the Olympics: collecting all those fines.

      mrwriteon – I almost never think about being dive-bombed by bird crap when my sunroof is open – except when I have a close call like this one.

  2. Sure! As long as I don’t have to kick in for the fine or smuggle you cigarettes in the big house. I hear BC is really cracking down on driving violations.

  3. Just goes to show you that you should always drive well above the speed limit!

    • Linda – That’s great imagery: “miniature horses flying around” indeed! And yes, I think you’re right about there being much more bird droppings around in the springtime. I’m sure noticing it more this year.

      Pauline – So you’re saying I “otter” go have a look at your blog?!? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

      XUP – Can I quote you the next time I’m stopped for speeding then? “Well, officer, XUP says …”

  4. P.S. I finished that otter drawing you asked me to do and its posted on my blog. 🙂

  5. I would say you were definitely luck. The bird poo seems worse in the spring I think-more birds and their diet is different. Sometimes the streets in Paris look like there have been minature horses flying around.

  6. That was lucky! What I find funny are people who feed birds in fast food parking lots..and then you can guess what happens shortly thereafter, as well as their angry reaction! LOL

    • Pauline – That would be funny to see! But I wonder how many times those birds would poop on my car instead, seeing as how it’s a dark blue colour so the poop would be highly visible (and therefore much more satisfying for the bird, I imagine).

  7. There is a god!