Gym dandy

I’ve done something that I never thought I would. Never in the proverbial million years. No bloody way. Anybody else, but not me.

I have joined a gym.

It was DD’s idea, and she pulled a little bit of a guilt trip on me. “But Mo-o-o-o-om! I rea-ea-ea-ea-eally don’t want to go by myself!”

And like all good parents everywhere, I capitulated. I even paid for her as well as myself. That’s just the kind of mother that I am.

But really, who am I kidding? I need to do this for me. I’m starting to get the muffin top. I’m getting a bit saggy here and there. I’m beginning to notice that I don’t look so terrific in sleeveless tops any more. I see that my body is not as young and firm as it used to be. I am aware that my body now lacks tone and definition in spots.

Dammit, what I really want is fabulous arms like these:

And I will get them. Someday. In a galaxy far, far away, no doubt. If ever I can remember what to do on each machine without having a trainer follow me around explaining it yet again. If DD ever stops laughing at me long enough to actually help me when I’m particularly confused. (You know, DD, one day you too will be my age, and you too will not learn new things quite as quickly as you did when you were 22. Yes. True fact.)

I will keep you posted periodically. Maybe when I can do one real push-up. One. That’s a realistic start, don’t you think?


10 responses to “Gym dandy

  1. I know what you mean. My JR automatically laughs at or poo-poos everything I say/do/wear. It’s automatic. Sometimes I can tell she doesn’t really mean it and takes great pains in trying to backtrack. Who needs TV?

    • XUP – But it does get better, I promise. DD now has moments when she seems to realize that I am a real person in my own right, not just a fictional character that only exists for her personal amusement. (Those moments usually come when I am peeing myself with laughter at something she has just said or done, but I’m counting them. Sometimes it’s all I get.)

  2. Thank the gods my daughter hates the gym as much as I do…. yep, I did teach her well. 😉

    • Maureen – I know. It’s weird. Although DD is not athletically inclined by any stretch of the imagination, she still feels the need to exercise. Where did I go wrong?!

  3. One push-up? That’s a reasonable aspiration. Oh, alas, the forces of gravity. Personally, I think mature women are gorgeous and there is nothing wrong, or unappealing about a little history etched in the body.

    • XUP – DD is actually quite appreciative that a) I’m paying for her, and b) I’m going with her. I think she’s just been laughing at me for so long that the habit is practically impossible to break now.

      mrwriteon – Well, I do believe I’m gorgeous … I just want to have better, stronger arms to go with the fabulous rest of me so I can do that push-up. It’s been a lifetime goal, long hidden, but now I’m determined to do it!

  4. I think since you’re paying DD should be trying to keep you sweet, not mock you. Ah, the superiority of youth. I wish you well. I hate gyms.

  5. Good luck with that sweetie! You should post before and after pics.

    • VioletSky – Sounds like that, doesn’t it? But no, I’d actually joined on Friday and was at the spa on Saturday.

      Jazz – What? And compromise the anonymity of my wimpy arms? (Not to mention that I’m a bit embarrassed by their current state – but you never know, I just might feel up to it after a few months of regular workouts.)

  6. Was it standing starkers in front of the woman with the bath mitt for that exfoliation at the spa that convinced you?! It would me.
    Good Luck.