I like being around people, really I do. I just don’t like it all the time. I’m one of those people who gets quite cranky when she doesn’t have time to herself. Ask anybody who knows me well and they will agree that yes, Pinklea does get short-tempered and snippy at times, but after some alone time, she comes back and is way more fun to be around. (Mom, DD and PG are all nodding vigorously right now – I can feel the vibes!)
The problem is that this is tough to do at Christmas. I have had some fun activity involving other people every single day since December 19, and although I have thoroughly enjoyed myself (and also got thoroughly spoiled with my birthday and Christmas gifts, I must add), I need a break. Just a day. Just to hang out or watch TV or mess about on the Intarnets or read or have a bubble bath or go for a long walk or something, but I want to be alone right now. My energy level and cheerfulness quotient seem to depend upon this.
And it’s not that any of the people that I have seen over the past while have been particularly draining or difficult to be around. No, no. I have been smart enough and/or lucky enough to surround myself with great friends and a wonderful family, so that has nothing to do with it. It’s just me. I’m just made this way.
According to my mother, I have been this way my whole life. I would play, play, play with my friends – then come home and close myself up in my bedroom for a day or so, emerging only to eat or use the bathroom, I guess. And my parents understood this, and let me be. I can only imagine how snarky I might have been if they hadn’t accepted my need for occasional solitude! But luckily, that’s never happened.
DD is the same way, fortunately. Even as a two- or three-year-old, she was perfectly happy to be playing alone in her room or in some far corner of the house. Her dad or I would check on her frequently, of course, but she was always fine. If she needed something, she would come to one of us, but she was very content on her own. And as I write this, she is closeted in her office, and has been all afternoon. We’ll see each other at dinnertime – maybe. If she’s hungry.
I suppose I simply enjoy my own company. I’m not afraid to be by myself, and in fact, will search out opportunities to do this even when I’m in a large group. And being by myself is most emphatically NOT time spent grocery shopping or cleaning the house or doing any type of chore. It is all about doing a pleasurable activity of my own choice, with only me there.
So PG has gone, DD is alone upstairs, and I’m alone here with my laptop. And that makes me happy!