You do remember my quest to keep my staffroom kitchen clean, don’t you? The part where I’ve been tossing out cups that have been abandoned on the counters or tables, despite my nagging people to either put them in the dishwasher or wash them themselves?

Naturally, there is one person with whom I work who simply does not understand this concept. Most of my colleagues “kind of” get it but are unable to follow through. This one really doesn’t comprehend.

For instance, one morning, I watched her toss her teaspoon into the sink after she stirred her tea. Into the sink over which there are several signs reminding people to not do that very thing.

“Lena!” I called. “Why are you putting your teaspoon into the sink? It’s dirty!”

Lena looked at me. Like a cow. She shrugged.

“It’s not that dirty,” she replied diffidently.

“You used it! It’s dirty enough! Put it in the dishwasher!” I said, probably (no, certainly) more sharply than was really necessary at eight thirty in the morning.

She shrugged again. “Maybe someone else will use it.”

“Lena!” I sputtered. “No one is going to want to use your dirty teaspoon!”

Lena smiled and walked away. You see what I mean? The whole concept of putting stuff away properly is completely beyond her. She constantly leaves her damn teaspoons in the sink, her knife lying on the table after she’s cut up whatever she cuts up at lunch, her lunchbag either on the table or on the floor or on a chair, and the table is often all sticky and crummy wherever she sits to eat. The woman is, unfortunately, a pig. Her classroom is also very messy. I shudder to think what her home must look like.

Lena has a travel mug that she often uses. Not every day, but often enough that we all know it belongs to her. It’s red, with a black handle and a black lid. Like this one I found on Google Images. images She leaves it all over the school. She left its black lid on top of the portable dishwasher for two weeks till I finally threw it out. I don’t think she missed it.

Most recently, Lena left her travel mug on the counter in front of the coffeemaker. She doesn’t drink coffee, only tea, so I don’t know why she put it there. But I left it, because I knew it was hers and she usually picks it up in a day or so.

This time she didn’t. I moved it, with a few other odds and ends that people had left around, over to the table in the corner. The table that is the first thing you see when you enter our staffroom. It stayed there, along with the other stuff for four days.

Then, last Wednesday, we had a special lunch, buffet style. The food was spread out over that table in the corner. Somebody (not me) put everything that had been on top of the table on the floor underneath it in order to make enough room for the food.

Last Thursday, I noticed that somebody had cleaned up the stuff that had been moved to the floor. Again, it wasn’t me. But apparently I have a secret ally who took pity on me and helped me out this one time.

Friday, Lena was on the warpath.

“Where is my travel mug?” she thundered.

I shrugged. “Last time I saw it, it was on the corner table. I guess it got moved when all the food for the lunch was put on the table.”

She accosted everyone who came in the staffroom, demanding if they knew where her travel mug was. Finally, she had to admit defeat.

“I’m going to have to write a note in the sign-in book,” she told me. “Somebody must know where my mug is.”

I could only shrug again. And giggle inside. Because for all my bravado and threats, her mug is gone, I didn’t do it and I don’t have a clue what happened to it!


13 responses to “Irony

  1. Belle – I agree! It’s a great word and so very underused. Thanks for visiting, too!

  2. All I know is – I love the word diffidently. I will now use it as much as I can and pretend that I this is a word I use all the time!

  3. Hannah – I hope she learns, too. But can you teach an old pig new tricks? (I don’t mean to imply that she’s old, but she’s no primary-aged kid for sure!)

    Maureen – Yeah, I guess it’s a lot more crucial to keep a hospital clean than it is a school. We’re just trying to educate small people. You’re trying to return all kinds of people to health.

  4. Ahahahahaha!!!! Serves Miss Piggy right.

    I can’t tell you how happy I am to read this. Our office staff are abosolute PIGS… which, for a hospital, is a crime.

    I will never eat in our Staff Room because of all the crap in there. I can’t believe how some people don’t give a S**T. I just close my door and eat in my office in peace. And in cleanliness.

  5. I’m like XUP, in that I already pick up after people and animals at home, I really don’t have the energy to care about dirty dishes at work.

    But hopefully this chick at your job will learn to take better care of her stuff after this.

  6. I think you get too excited about a teaspoon and a travel mug. It’s time for you to go on vacation. You’re starting to sound like somebody who is running a prison camp and you don’t want that, do you? You’re a nice sweet woman, remember that.

  7. I can’t be bothered worrying about other people’s messes anymore. I look after one messy person and one messy cat at home and that’s enough for me. If people at work want to leave food in the fridge, unwrapped for 2 months or cook soup for 10 minutes in the microwave until it’s all over the microwave, the I just won’t be using the fridge or microwave anymore. I can deal with that. I have no desire to try and train a bunch of strangers on how not to be pigs.

    • XUP – What can I say? I seem to be rather particular. I do use the staffroom stuff, and it does bug me when people don’t clean up after themselves. By and large, though, everybody is pretty good, and it’s really only a couple of people out of about 40 of us who don’t seem to care.

  8. It’s karma it is. Karma she is a b itch. HA!

  9. One day, I will have moved out and you will have retired, and you will feel a strange emptiness when you realize there is no occasion for you to be enraged by the piggish behaviours of other people.

    I guess you will have to live with PG, after all.

    • DD – There will always be somebody’s slovenly behaviours to criticize. PG’s will do nicely. That will keep me busy for a very, very, very long time.