Driving to work today (I’ve just realized that a lot of my posts have to do with driving. This one doesn’t, not really, it just starts that way!), I took a slightly different route. You know, just to shake things up a bit.

images6So I was cruising down this sort-of rural road, which was lined with hobby farms on one side and a subdivision of enormous homes with tiny yards on the other. I glanced over at one of the hobby farms and spotted a llama. It was a big brown one, laying atop a mound of dirt and gazing out haughtily at the chickens, geese, and the lone sheep that wandered about the yard beneath it.

It reminded me of the time, many years ago when DD was a toddler, when her grandmother (my ex mother-in-law) and I took her to a local petting zoo. Now, DD is an animal lover from WAY back (like in the womb), so there was no better way to entertain her than to provide animals for her viewing pleasure. If she could actually touch them, so much the better. So she was incredibly excited to be there.

At this zoo, there were a few animals in huge enclosures that were not for petting, simply for admiring. Like llamas. There were a whole bunch of them (is it actually called a herd of llamas?) in an area that seemed as big as one of the hobby farms that I spotted today. To my recollection, most of them were grazing far away from the chain link fence, but there was one – another big brown one – close to the fence. Of course, DD and I went to take a closer look, because I quite like llamas and think they’re rather esthetically-pleasing animals.

Her grandmother called her over to look at some other animal soon thereafter, but I stayed there, talking to the llama in question. It moved closer to the fence, almost close enough to touch. I kept talking to it, holding out my hand for it to sniff (Do llamas even do that? I mean, they’re not dogs! Still.). The llama came closer. I thought I was mesmerizing it with my melodious voice, so I moved closer too.

Can you see where this is going yet?

The llama and I were almost nose to nose, with the fence between us. We had serious eye contact.

Then it horked up something small but very, very hard and spit it at my face. I sputtered, wiping cud or whatever it was, off my face. The llama kept staring at me, then made as if to spit again. I leaped backwards.

DD and her grandmother just about peed themselves laughing.

I no longer approach llamas.


7 responses to “Llama-rama

  1. They got a cool look, but they’ve got a nasty temper they do…

  2. Nora – Funny you should mention Greek llamas: I’m off to Greece this summer! I must remember to be very wary …

    Zed – Yeah, me and the animals, we’re pretty much best friends.

    XUP – And stupid me, I only speak English and French, a smattering of German and Ukrainian, but no Llama.

    Gossamer Woman – I am the only person that I know who has actually had this dubious experience. Oh lucky me …

    Hannah – I still do like them, as miserable as this particular one may have been. I guess I just don’t learn well from experience!

  3. LOL. Aww that is so horrible! Llamas are miserable little buggers!

  4. I had heard that lamas do that, but I had never heard anyone describe the actual experience. It must have been very disgusting and unforgettable. Poor you and darn that lama for leading you on. Darn animal.

  5. Poor llama. You invaded his space I guess and he didn’t know how to say “back off” in human.

  6. I think you pulled a llama – go you!

  7. Well, hopefully that’ll teach to beware of llamas (were they Greek ones?) bearing gifts… !

    P.S. Commented back to you at mine!